i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
