remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
