I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
