I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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