I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
