I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
