The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
