Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
