Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize