why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
