singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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