dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize