he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
