Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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