At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
