you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
