A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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