My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize