Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
