I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
