I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dear god my vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
