Only a mothe r could love this liver
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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