she was so not down for the gang bang
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
