Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
