alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
