Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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