D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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