I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
