can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
