time to smoke my breakfast
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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