I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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