Christians are straight up FREAKS
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
