I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
