I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
