i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
