OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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