i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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