Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I skipped work to stalk him.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize