your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
