I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
