its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
