nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
