I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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