dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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