If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
