Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
