Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
