are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
