sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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