Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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(208): View more from Idaho

She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.

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(661): View more from California

Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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(661): View more from California

And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"

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(207): View more from Maine

I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.

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