There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
