Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
