i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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