I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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