Sponge bath it is.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
