never play flip cup with pint glasses
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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