I hate your face
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Walk of Shame today included voting.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
