Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize