she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My penis needs a shock collar
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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