At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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