We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
